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How Dating sites review Choose The Right Site As you can imagine, there are a lot of different sites to choose from out there. Forumites on the and discussions have loads of tried-and-tested dating recommendations. One of the biggest names in online dating, is a heavyweight that caters for all age groups looking for both long- and short-term relationships. The divide between guys and girls is very similar and their target audience is aged 25 — 65. The primary focus of Elitemate dating site is on fun si relationships; they even offer local events and parties in dating sites review variety of locations to help members meet in person in a way that is casual and safe. More traditional sites may offer anything from a simple search to a highly specific advanced search. Speed dating introduces constant, dynamic resistance to the world of online dating. While the association can't help resolve complaints, it says it monitors the flow of issues, and may step in if something serious is going wrong. Quick questions: As part of your profile, you can describe your personality in one word from a pre-selected autobus - which caters for everything from 'foodie' and 'nomad' to 'starving artist' and 'geek'. I am often directly approached by pay-per-letter sites with generous affiliate programs, and I reject them the moment I see that they charge by the letter. You can read our fullor if you con, leave your own review.
Don't feel embarrassed about online dating If you're embarrassed about looking for Mr or Ms Right online, don't be. A recent poll on our Facebook page shows there's no longer a stigma about online dating, with 98% of respondents saying it's a great way to meet a partner. Here are some MoneySavers' experiences for inspiration. Please share yours in our forum discussion. Met my lady nearly six years ago on Match. I know it doesn't work for everyone. But don't knock it till you try it! I agree it's quite a daunting experience, but once you sift out the players, it can be positive. These are our key pointers for staying safe: Key points to check include whether it'll post your profile on other sites, how it'll use your data, contract length, how you cancel, what safety support's available, exactly what you're getting for the price, and whether membership auto-renews. If you don't agree with the terms, don't sign up. Similarly, only go with a site you're happy with, and check its feedback online - it may be better to go with a bigger established site you've heard of than an unknown name. Don't rush into meeting up just because your free trial's about to end or because they 'liked' your profile. Get to know them properly first - your safety's more important. If it doesn't feel right, move on. Of course, dating websites are a huge boon in the digital age. Used right, they can be fantastic tools to help you filter through thousands of potential matches at speed. They can get real results - here's a MoneySaver's success story to inspire you. Joined an online dating site and after a couple of months I met Damian. We emailed and spoke online for a few weeks, before talking on the phone most nights. We eventually met up for our first date and have never looked back. We've now been married nearly two years, and have an 11-week old son. If you're after a soulmate and they just want a quick fumble in the bushes, it'll only waste your time. If it's you that's after a quick fumble, don't be too boorish - make sure they're happy too. You'll get more interest if you upload a few snaps of yourself, rather than just one. Take your time and think about how you want to come across. You could even get a trusted friend to read it first. Even if you don't think you're anything special, they may see you as a great cook or gentle giant. If you've interests or hobbies, these can help you stand out. So if you're a huge Star Trek fan, don't think you have to hide it. It gives matches something to talk about. If your pics are all group shots, suitors may not know which is you. Avoid exes - this isn't the place for your old wedding photos. Honesty's the best policy Sell your best bits in your profile, but be truthful. Your date will quickly realise you're not a seven-foot human rights lawyer who rows part-time for Team GB when they meet you. Unless you are, in which case, please email MSE Archna. Likewise, a picture of you seven years ago before you gained a few pounds and lost a few hairs won't impress if it looks absolutely nothing like you now. The key is if you're looking for a long-term relationship with this person, you won't be able to keep up the pretence long-term. Fibs lead to disappointment all round. How to secure yourself a date When sending that first message, don't just cut and paste the same reply to everyone. It pays to show that you actually read their profile. That said, don't get too serious - aim for fun, snappy and short. Don't fall for unwanted dating site upsells Many dating sites offer pricey membership upgrades to bump up their profits. Yet only sign up to a premium package if you need it, you know exactly what it includes, and you'll actually use the extras, eg, a more prominent profile or easier messaging. For example, makes you pay for extra features, such as the ability to go online in 'unavailable' mode and request read receipts. It's worth starting off with a basic package to see how you get on, so you don't shell out unnecessarily. If you aren't getting many replies, it could simply be you've picked the wrong type of site for your needs, or your profile needs a bit more polish - see how to. Top tips to help on your first date Once you're sure you've snagged a winner online, your first face-to-face date is a crucial part of the process to see if there's real chemistry between you. This'll help screen out any unsuitables, plus it'll help you build common ground to talk about when you first meet. But only give out your number when you're sure. Check if they're dreamy or a dud with a quick 'pre-date' to see if you want to invest time and money in a full date. A coffee during a work lunchtime's ideal - ensure there's a defined end time. If you've had all your online dates in your PJs with a TV dinner, this isn't the time to follow suit. Dress to impress, and don't be late. Easier said than done if you've first-date jitters, but remember they'll be nervous too. So don't worry too much, and enjoy it. It's easy to do if nervous on a first date, but it's far safer to stay sober if you've only met online please be. Tell a good friend where you're going, who you're meeting, and when you'll be back. Take a mobile phone and arrange to let them know when you've got back home safely - and tell your date that others know where you are. We don't want to sound like your mum, but if passions are high, you don't want to return with more than you planned for. See the for contraception and STI info. If you're strapped for time for your first meeting, here's one forumite's tip to help: A pal has been very active on internet dating for some time now. One of her rules is that she always tries to meet any date in her lunch hour. She says an hour's long enough to give you an idea of whether you're both interested. If you're not, it's only an hour to perservere rather than be stuck with someone for a whole evening. Sadly many forumites report being caught out by these. If you can't opt out, set a free reminder for the contract's end, or a separate phone reminder, so you remember to cancel if you no longer need it. Even after you cancel, always do a full audit of regular payments to check you aren't still paying. A drink's cheaper than a meal - don't waste cash on a dud If you're looking for a first date venue, a nice cafe or bar's a far more MoneySaving choice than a restaurant. As you'll only need to buy a drink, you won't have to fork out for a posh dinner only to find they don't live up to your expectations. Plus you won't feel you need to sit through an entire meal together if you don't hit it off - and if you do, a drink and a chat together can last for as long as you want. One forumite's experience: My first date was pretty cheap and cheerful - two drinks in a pub, one of which was non-alcoholic as we were both driving. It was a perfect two hours, one of the nicest dates I have ever been on. Then if you think you're in it for the long haul, it could be worth buying a few months upfront to save. Most online dating sites charge less per month the longer you sign up for. For example, on Match. The catch is you're locked in and usually won't get your money back if you meet your soulmate in your first month. Set up a separate email address If you decide to take the plunge, it's a good idea to set up a separate email address just for any online dating accounts. Use this for dating site sign-ups and getting in touch with others - this way it'll protect your personal email from unwanted attention if things go wrong, or any online dating site spam. Think twice about using your work email address too. More free ways to meet your future partner If you'd rather not use dating sites, you could try other social networking sites such as Facebook to meet friends of friends, as well as the MSE forum see. Plus there's a wealth of free local groups on , from choirs and sports clubs to folk just looking for friends for chats over coffee - just click on your area to find them. Of course, dating existed long before the internet muscled in. If you're looking to meet like-minded people offline, you could try volunteering - there's a useful list of resources to help find placements on. It's possible to get into big paid music festivals for free through volunteer schemes - see the page for info. Or you could ask a close friend to set you up with an eligible single friend they think you'd get on well with. Some inspiration from the forums: How about matchmaking? Ask your friends or families if they can introduce you to someone they know very well, who is single and searching. It has worked for my husband and I, we were matched by a friend many years ago. If you're really looking to impress, try the forum discussion or if it goes really well, see the great hunt. Meet other MoneySavers in the forum Though the MSE forum isn't a dedicated dating site, it's led to several real-life weddings between MSE forumites. One of these couples met in our virtual pub, , where many MoneySavers go to meet like-minded people online. People tell us it's a great way to meet folk if you're on a budget or have money issues, as there's no awkwardness. If you're new to online dating, or have tips from your own experiences you'd like to pass on, the forum's a great place to share success or horror! Remember it's a public forum - don't post personal info. Here are a few words from to inspire you: Five years ago I stumbled upon MSE looking for cheaper car insurance. A few glasses of vino and I ended up in the Arms, where I met Fat Boy... Many horror stories aren't due to the dating sites, but the person you've chosen from 'em. So be aware not everyone on there will have the best intentions see , but don't let the odd dodgy date put you off. See these as a funny story to tell the grandkids once you've found your match. To show you it happens to the best of us, here's a story from our forums please do share yours in our forum discussion : One guy bored the pants off me, turned up with his lunch down his top, nursed one pint for two hours even though I offered to buy him another told me he felt I wasn't wham bam enough for him by email but would give me another go. Needless to say I just ignored him. It took a further two emails being ignored for him to get the drift! Plus as they're more thoughtful, they're likely to be more successful than a bog standard meal out. For a cultured date that doesn't cost a penny, we've full listings of , or try our guide to see if there's one nearby. Or you could bag to their fave TV show, or get tickets. Forumites on the and discussions have loads of tried-and-tested dating recommendations. A few to whet your appetite s : Skip the expensive dinners. The best date I ever went on was a drive to the coast, a walk along the wind-lashed beach, followed by a cream tea in a pub by a roaring fire in winter. It was one of my first dates with the man who is now my hubby. Bring a blanket, a picnic basket packed with your favourite cheese, grapes, wine and some chocolate for dessert. Bring along a book of poetry and take turns readings love poems to each other. When we walked along the river at night... We get a nice evening out and it costs buttons. Was touched by the thought even though it cost less than £1. A investigation reported similar instances of dating site trickery. It's illegal for a dating site to create fake profiles to generate cash. Some of the fake images were reported to be taken from social networking sites without consent or old pictures of celebrities. We've not heard of Martin's being used - there's probably a reason for this... If you're concerned, you could try a search to see if the profile image comes up anywhere else on the net. So if your new hunk is actually just an old picture of George Clooney in his 20s, move on. This won't always work, so the key is not to get too attached before you've struck up a proper conversation with them. Sadly there's no specific regulator for online dating agents, so contact the Citizens Advice consumer helpline on 03454 04 05 06 if you're concerned you may be being targeted by fake profiles, and it'll contact Trading Standards to investigate. The Information Commissioner's Office ICO is also looking further into unscrupulous practices from some online dating companies. If you're worried your personal data's being used without your consent, contact the. Restaurant vouchers can show you're good with cash If you're out for a meal with your date, ensure you've a to whip out when the bill comes. As well as saving you both cash, it'll show your date you're good with money too. Don't feel bad about doing it. In our poll, a whopping 87% of people either said it wasn't an issue, or it'd show they're a keeper. Some of the past reticence was that vouchers were perceived as only for low-end eateries, yet that's long gone. If you're still worried, you could be subtle about it, as lawrie28 suggests: If it was me paying and using a voucher, I'd take the bill over to the till or bar and pay there, rather than doing it at the table. Is your site a member of the association? It's worth checking if a dating site's a member of the ODA. This won't guarantee a hassle-free experience. But it does mean the site has to commit to an industry code of practice that includes honest communication with users, protecting their privacy and providing a way to report abusive members. If you have a complaint about a company, the ODA says you should contact the dating site directly. While the association can't help resolve complaints, it says it monitors the flow of issues, and may step in if something serious is going wrong. We include whether our top dating sites below are members or not. Not happy with a dating site? How to complain If you've paid for a subscription upfront but change your mind part-way through the contract, sadly there's little hope of getting your money back. But if it isn't providing the service it agreed to when you signed up, you might have a case for a refund, or even compensation though it's never guaranteed. You've statutory rights for poor service - and this applies to dating sites too. If you don't think a service has been provided with 'reasonable care and skill', it's broken the terms of the contract, or you've been mis-sold eg, you were told something would happen and it didn't you've a right to complain. Check if you're in contract before cancelling If you're in a contract with a dating site, cancelling may breach it, so check the paperwork first. You may need to give it notice, or there may be penalties for early cancellation, which could be cheaper than keeping it going. Also known as 'continuous payment authorities' CPAs , these let firms take cash from your card regularly whenever they think they're owed. You can still cancel a CPA or a direct debit if in contract, but you'll need to find another way to pay for the rest of the contract. This is because you're only in breach of contract if you stop paying altogether, but not necessarily if you change the way you pay always check the terms to be sure though. If you're still having problems cancelling payments, despite contacting both the dating site and your bank, you can make a complaint to the free. It settles disputes independently and will look into the case on your behalf. See for more help. It can take a lot of courage to put yourself out there. Yet once you've chosen your site and created your profile, it's time to stop worrying and be yourself. While it's likely to take time to find your perfect match, online dating sites are ultimately tools to help you increase your chances. Plus the web era means successful relationships that started online are now hugely common. Top online dating sites Never mind finding your soulmate - finding the right dating website can be tricky enough, with literally hundreds to chose from. We've rounded up a few of the best below: The pick of the free sites Anecdotally, free online dating sites tend to attract a bit of a mixed bag, as there are fewer barriers. Of course, it depends on the website, but free dating sites generally have more basic features and are less targeted to specific types of daters. If you don't mind fending off or ignoring any unwanted messages, and you're aware of the online dating scams to watch out for see , they're a useful way to meet others on the web for nowt. A massive name in the world of free online dating, lets you sign up, create a profile, send and receive messages for nowt. One forumite says: I met my wife on Plenty of Fish and we had a beautiul baby girl in Jan, so it can and does work. It took me two weeks to decide to message her, as I felt she was out of my league looks-wise, but it's the best thing I ever did. Anecdotally, for short-term flings. Over 90 million registered users worldwide. Quick questions: As part of your profile, you can describe your personality in one word from a pre-selected list - which caters for everything from 'foodie' and 'nomad' to 'starving artist' and 'geek'. It also lets you choose potential matches by star sign. You can choose what you're looking for from 'hangout', 'friends', 'dating' and 'long-term', though its intent section lets daters state if they're looking for 'no commitment'. Very easy to use, and hugely popular with social network addicts, is a fast-paced and addictive free dating app to meet others on your smartphone. It's quick to join - you just give it your Facebook info and you're ready to go. App fans looking for love locally. It's made 850m matches worldwide. But you'll have to pay for the premium service, TinderPlus. It needs access to your Facebook account. Quick questions It's the premium paid-for version of Tinder. It offers users an extended version of the original app, including unlimited right-swipes, likes, and an undo button to recover mistaken swipes. There is also a Passport function which allows users to flirt with potential partners in countries where they intend to travel. Users under the age of 28 who want the extra functions will be charged £3. You browse others' profile pics, swiping past any you aren't interested in. If you are, you simply click the 'heart' icon. If they've done the same for you, you can then send each other messages. The amount of times you can 'swipe right' has now been limited, we've asked Tinder for more information on this. It also lets you set the age range of those you're looking for, find recommendations, and limit your search area to daters within a certain distance from you. If you're keen on playing Cupid, it even lets you matchmake friends. This free dating app allows users to connect with each other as they cross paths in real life, with a range of up to 250m. It can even show users where and when they crossed paths. It's free to download and uses your Facebook information to build a profile. It'll show your name, age, job and a few pictures. Smartphone users in busy locations. The app has five million worldwide users and has one million active daily users. Only the location of where you have passed each other is recorded. You can also block and report users at any time. Quick questions Instead of browsing dozens, if not hundreds, of profile pics, you'll only see people you've come into close proximity with. It could be someone you saw during your commute, in your office building or someone living nearby. If you like the look of someone, you can tap the heart icon. They won't know you like them unless they feel the same and tap the heart icon. If you are a match, you can start sending each other messages. Regional homepages help you quickly find daters near you, while its age categories span from over 18s to 50+. Those looking for a cheap 'n' cheerful free site. Quick questions is surprisingly slick and user-friendly for a free dating site - though if you want to get rid of the ads, you'll have to pay. One MoneySaver says: I had the most success on OKCupid, which is where I met my boyfriend. I've since recommended it to lots of people - including my mum! She met someone on there too. Quick questions: Mega-popular smartphone app uses your phone's location to zero in on available men nearby. While often used for uncomplicated hook-ups, it's worth checking out for long-term love as well, as it has such a huge number of users. Gay, bi or bi-curious men. It has 2 million daily users. Quick questions As Grindr's often used for casual hook-ups, it's worth chatting first to ensure you both want the same thing before revealing your identity. Only share your location once you feel comfortable. There's an option to connect the app to your Facebook account, so be careful if you'd rather keep your profile photo private. The pick of the paid sites With so many free dating sites, you might well ask why anyone pays. Yet paid dating websites may attract fewer time-wasters, have fewer ads and better safety features, or have a more tailored approach to matching specific types. Don't assume that paid dating sites are always best though. All the below offer basic free trials, so it's worth trying these to see if it's for you before you shell out. We've listed their prices below, but it's well worth calling up to see if it's possible to haggle it down. We tried phoning five big dating websites and managed to knock the list price down on two of them, so it's well worth a try. One of the biggest names in online dating, is a heavyweight that caters for all age groups looking for both long- and short-term relationships. Here are a few success stories from the forum: I met my other half on Match. I paid for one month, only one profile attracted me and it was his. We started chatting over the phone, met up within a week and are getting married next year. I know I am one of the few lucky ones but if it can happen to us, it can happen to others - BettyDebt Met my other half on Match. We've been together for a year now, he reckons it was the best money he has ever spent, as it was an investment in the rest of our lives. He signed up for a month and met me face-to-face within 2 weeks after many emails and calls, so jokes about trying to get a partial refund. All sorts of folks seeking long-term love. Quick questions If the thought of writing your own online dating profile makes you cringe, lets you get a friend to do it for you. Founded by TV presenter Sarah Beeny, all its profiles are written by friends. Its unusual approach to online dating makes it handy if you'd rather not jump into the online dating scene on your own. One forumite reports: I have to vouch for mysinglefriend. Me and my girlfriends had a lot of fun on it last year when we were all single, and met some genuinely nice, funny, gorgeous, intelligent people - and we knew they weren't nutters! It's a well-designed and simple to use site - highly recommended. Quick questions Launched in 2004, online dating site is a popular site for those looking for long-term relationships. After years of internet dating, dating through friends and trying to meet people wherever I could, I eventually met my boyfriend. The thing that worked for me was Guardian Soulmates, as people seemed fairly well-educated. However snobby it sounds, it was important for me. If you like geeky boys, it's a good start point. Quick questions trademarked Compatability Matching System uses a scientifically-adapted questionnaire to try to find a unique match for your personality. Thanks to eHarmony I met my other half and we're getting married in March. I was a little doubtful of the whole concept but I'm guessing that I'm one of the luckier ones — it worked for me. Those serious about finding The One. Yes, but on a separate site,. Both - available for iPhone, Android and Windows phones. Quick questions is particularly popular with those wanting to date online via their smartphone or Facebook profile, though you can also access it via the web. Social media fans under 45. Quick questions A trial membership is free and last indefinitely. It lets you create a profile, search other profiles, initiate a conversation and even receive responses for nowt. But if you want to respond to an email, see who's looked at your profile, and get full access to chat with others, you'll need a paid membership. Top specialist online dating sites If you want to look for love in a more specific way, the following sites are targeted at particular audiences. Founded in 2006, is targeted at time-strapped urban folk, catering for some of the UK's biggest cities, including London, Birmingham, Dublin, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Leeds, Liverpool and Manchester. Quick questions brings together thousands of single men and women from across the Jewish community. As well as letting you add your religious background eg, Hassidic, Modern Orthodox, Traditional , it also allows non-Jewish daters, who can specify whether or not they're willing to convert. One forumite reports: I met my girlfriend 18 months ago on JDate and we're very happy, bought a house together... Quick questions is owned and run by Christians, and caters for those looking for both friendships and relationships. It lets you specify your faith further if you wish eg, Anglican, Baptist, Catholic, Quaker etc. Yes, but it has only a small number of same-sex daters. Quick questions Quirky site describes itself as an online community for 'anyone who leads a muddy-boots lifestyle wanting to meet like-minded, country people'. Quick questions If you're a mum or dad, is a good way to meet other singles with children. There's no stress over how to broach the subject of little'uns, as you're both in the same situation. It's a smaller site. If you go through it, it can sometimes result in a payment or benefit to the site. It's worth noting this means the third party used may be named on any credit agreements. Plus the editorial line the things we write is NEVER impacted by these links. We aim to look at all available products. If it isn't possible to get an affiliate link for the top deal, it is still included in exactly the same way, just with a non-paying link. For more details, read. We're a journalistic website and aim to provide the best MoneySaving guides, tips, tools and techniques, but can't guarantee to be perfect, so do note you use the information at your own risk and we can't accept liability if things go wrong. Its stance of putting consumers first is protected and enshrined in the legally-binding. Please read the , , , and.
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